Gamle bolde.

En ældre golfspiller og hans caddie går til 1ste tee, hvor golferen tee'er en helt ny bold op. Han slicer bolden ind i skoven i højre side. Han tager igen en helt ny bold og slår den til venstre ud i en sø. Atter tager han en helt ny bold, som har slår til højre over landevejen. Igen tee'er han en helt ny bold op, men så siger hans caddie:

"Undskyld, men du har lige mistet 3 helt nye bolde, hvorfor tager du ikke en gammel bold denne gang?" Hvortil golferen svarer: " Jeg ville gerne bruge en gammel bold, men jeg har aldrig haft nogen."

What a course!!

A Jew, a Catholic and a Morman were having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention. The Jew, bragging about his virility said "I have four sons, one more and I'll have a basketball team!." The Catholic poo-poohed this acomplishment, stating, "Thats nothing boy, I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team." To which the Mormon replied, "You fellers ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives, one more and I'll have a golf course!."

Golfånden

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.
They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.
The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?"
"No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered.
The wife asked, "Are you a genie?"
"Oh, why yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied.
The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.
The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!"
The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire."
The husband and wife agreed.
After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?"
To which she responded, "Three years."
The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?"

"31 years old" , she replied.

The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?"

Lifelong Golfing Ambition

A golfer who was well into his golden years had a lifelong ambition to play one hole at Pebble Beach, California, the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the green that is on a spit of land that just out off the coast.

It was something he had tried hundreds of times without success. His ball always fell short, into the water. Because of this he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick.

One year he went out to Pebble Beach to try again. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old cut ball and said a silent prayer. Before he hit it, however, a powerful voice from above said: WAIT ... REPLACE THAT OLD BALL WITH A BRAND-NEW BALL. He complied, with some slight misgiving, despite the fact that the Lord seemed to be implying that He was going to let him finally achieve his lifelong ambition.

As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again: WAIT ... STEP BACK ... TAKE A PRACTICE SWING. So he stepped back and took a practice swing. The voice boomed out again: TAKE ANOTHER PRACTICE SWING. He did. Silence followed.

Then the voice spoke out again: PUT THE OLD BALL BACK.

Travis is a golf fanatic

Every Saturday he has an early tee time, gets up early and golfs all day. One Saturday morning, he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs out of the closet, and goes out to his car to drive to the course.

It is raining a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing 50 mph.

He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel from there he finds it's going to be bad weather all day.

He puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing?"